Coparenting is such a trip sometimes, continuing a relationship with someone you would rather have nothing more to do with for the purposes of collaborating for the care of the person you love most in the world.
Sometimes my coparent and I are in a friendly and laid-back flow and and sometimes there’s high levels of tension, (usually when he’s attempting yet another round of pushing back on the same boundaries I’ve been holding for the three years since our relationship ended 🙃) and it becomes necessary to scale back communication to logistics.
Right now it’s the latter, and you know what? It’s ok. I used to run the energy of the tension through my body and notice myself feeling on edge, which unsurprisingly showed up in my parenting which then added layers of guilt and shame.
What I’ve learned and am continuing to practice as someone with empathic and codependent relational tendencies is that it is so important to have not only spoken boundaries but psychic and emotional boundaries as well. When we allow the emotional storms of others to take up real estate in our bodies, it steals our peace and poisons our capacity for joy.
Truly, the most loving thing we can do for all parties involved is to allow others to build their own capacity for working through distress and discomfort by not making it our business or responsibility. We can pray or send the intetnion for their peace and freedom from suffering and, in doing so we reclaiming our own.